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Who can give me a really funny joke?

The funniest joke will get best answer.
don’t copy jokes you heard on here either, i’ve read most of them.

go!

wana hear a clean joke?
Jack took a bath with bubbles.

wana hear a dirty joke?
bubbles was a guy.

_____________________________

there were 2 trees sitting on top of a hill, one tree looks at the other and
says, "It sure is windy today"
the other looks back and him and says, "oh my god, a talking tree!!!!"

10 Responses

  1. tommypickles101 Says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He82NBjJqf8
    References :

  2. Jonah Says:

    What’s th3e difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

    Santa Claus only has 3 hoes!
    References :

  3. ♥Annaliza♥ Says:

    A foreign man comes to the U.S. not knowing how to speak English.
    One day,he goes to the opera with his wife.He learns some English words:"MEMEMEMEME!" he practices saying.
    After the show,he and his wife go to a restaurant nearby."Fork and spoon!Fork and spoon!" he learned.
    His English is still not good,but he is determined to learn more.So,he goes to the store.He sees something that fascinates him:Glade scent in plugs.By now,he can read a little English and reads "Just plug it in!" So,he practices saying "Plug it in! Plug it in!" over and over again.

    One day,a man gets murdered.So,a cop asks the man if he knew anything not knowing that he can’t speak English.
    "Sir,do you know who murdered the man?"

    "MEMEMEME!",answered the foreign man.

    "What did you kill him with?"

    "FORK AND SPOON!FORK AND SPOON!"
    Now,he is in an electric chair.
    "Any last words,sir?"

    "PLUG IT IN! PLUG IT IN!"
    ______________________________________…

    A man is sick in the hospital and his wife,being a good wife,is there with him.He beckons her over.
    "Yes,dear?",she asks.
    "You know,honey…",he said."You’ve been with me through all the tough times.When I got hit by a car,you were there.When the neighborhood dog bit me,you were there.When I lost all my money,you were there.You know what?"
    "What,dear?",she asks.
    "I think you bring me bad luck."
    References :

  4. Devil Dawg Says:

    Whats the difference between a black guy and a table?
    A table can support a family :)
    References :

  5. Olivia Says:

    what is black and white and black and white and black and white? a Penguin rolling down a hill.
    what is black and white and laughing the penguin who pushed the other Penguin down the hill
    References :

  6. barca01 Says:

    blond joke

    there is a smart blonde,a flying pig and a majecal unicorn in a flying air balloon.a pelicon comes and shoots a whole in the balloon. who jumps out safelly?

    none they all dont exist.
    ————————————————————————————————————-
    three people are in an airplane.one eats a apple and say"ill to sweet"so she throse it out the window.
    the next girl bites a lemon and says"ill to sour"so she throse it out the window..
    the next girl bites a grenade and says"ill to crunchy"so she throse it out the window.
    later the girl who threw the apple saw a kid with a cat.she asks if shes ok and she says that an apple fell and hit her cat on the head.
    later the girl who threw the lemon sees a boy crying so she asks whats wrong.the kid said a lemon came and hit the cat. later the girl who threw a grenade sees a blonde laghing her head off and asks whats wrong.the blonde says that when she farted the building behind her blew up.
    ———————————————————————————————————————————–
    how do kill a blonde when she/him throses a grenade?

    pull the thing and throw it at her.
    ————————————————————————————————————————————–
    how is santa in a gang?

    he wears all red and he keeps saying hohoho
    References :

  7. Testdummie54 Says:

    wana hear a clean joke?
    Jack took a bath with bubbles.

    wana hear a dirty joke?
    bubbles was a guy.

    _____________________________

    there were 2 trees sitting on top of a hill, one tree looks at the other and
    says, "It sure is windy today"
    the other looks back and him and says, "oh my god, a talking tree!!!!"
    References :

  8. Kaat Says:

    There’s a brunette, a blonde, and a redhead on the steps to Heaven. At every step, a man tell a joke, and if one of them laughs, they are rejected from the stairway. The redhead went first, but failed by the second step. The brunette went second, but failed at the fifth step. The blonde went all the way to the nintey-ninth step, but laughed before the man said anything. The man said," Why did you laugh? I didn’t even tell the joke yet." The blonde replied,"I just got the first one."
    References :

  9. kaustikos1981 Says:

    A very old Jew is lying at his deathbed. His family is all around him, watching him with love and care.
    The old man raises a shaking hand and calls with a croaking voice
    "Maria, my wife, are you here?"
    Maria, his wife rushes to his side, holds his hand and says
    "Yes, my husband, I am always by your side"
    The old man looks at her and calls again
    "Jebediah, my eldest, are you here?"
    "Yes father, I am here", says Jebediah.
    "Jacob, my youngest, are you here as well?", calls again the dying man
    "Yes father, I am by your side", says the youth with tears in his eyes.
    "Sarah, my sweet young daughter, are you here as well?", asks again the old man.
    "Yes father, I am ever by you side." replies the young woman.
    The old man looks at them all once more and says
    "So who is at the store?"

    And a Happy New Year!
    References :
    No offence meant, its just funny :D

  10. Hayley L Says:

    There is a blonde, brunette and a red hed. Some police men are chasing them. The red head and brunette hide behind a barn wall. The blonde hides in a empty potato sack. The police men were by the barn and the brunette said MOO!!! the red head said BAA!!!!! then the blonde said POTATOES POTATOES POTATOESSSS!!!
    References :

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