Dolly unbuttons her blouse, takes off her bra and says to Peter "Look at these! These are the most perfectly formed breasts in the world! God Himself created these! Don't you think he'd like to admire his handiwork?"

Queen Elizabeth says nothing, and instead reaches into her handbag and pulls out a bottle of sparkling mineral water. She removes the lid, takes a swig, gargles and then spits it into a toilet and flushes.

"Very good Your Royal Highness" says St Peter "you may enter!"

"Hey, come on! That's not fair!" exclaims Dolly indignantly "I show you the most perfectly formed pair of breasts, one of God's finest creations and you let her in just because she spits into a toilet!!!! Why???"

"Sorry Dolly" St Peter replies, "Even in heaven, a Royal Flush beats a Pair, no matter how big they are!"
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After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
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The father replied, "Good job son!" and he pulls out a couple of beers to celebrate. "Now, do you have any questions?" his dad asks.

"Yeah," replies the boy, "When will my butt stop hurting?"

~~~~~~~~~~————————–~~…

A bear was chasing a rabbit around a tree, because the rabbit had stole his magic lamp. Eventually, the rabbit started to rub it so he could escape from the bear. The genie popped out, but yelled at both of them saying, "I should kill you both for how you have been acting!! but, if you promise to stop, i'll grant you both 3 wishes."

They agree and the bear announced, "I'll go first. I wish, I had the biggest c0ck of all bears on the Earth." so he got his wish.

The rabbit says, "I wish, that I had a motorcycle, with unlimited gas." so he got his wish.

The bear then says, "I wish that all the bears in the world except me were girl bears!" so he got his wish.

the Rabbit then says, "I wish I had an unlimited supply of carrots."
his wish came true.

Then the bear announced his final wish. "I wish all the girl bears were attracted to me and wanted to screw me!" so he got his wish.

Then the Rabbit announced his final wish. "I wish that he was GAY!" and then he drives off on his motorcycle.

:] hope you enjoyed.
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