The funniest will get 10 points.
Please make it so that a 13 or 15 year old can understand it.
3 chinneese men come to america and dont know any english..the first one walks into a restraunt and hears a little girls saying "forks and knives, forks and knives!"..so thats all he can say when he gets out
the second one walks into a candy shop and hears a little boy saying "goodie goodie gum drops me first in line me first in line" and when he walks out that is all he can say
the third one walks past a wedding and hears the bride saying "yes!yes!yes!" so then that is all he can say…
the three men meet up in the streat and a police officer comes by.
he asks them
"did you kill this man?"
3rd man:"yes yes yes"
police officer:"what did you kill him with?"
1st man:"forks and knives!"
police officer:"do you WANT to go to jail!?!"
2nd man:"goodie goodie gum drops me first in line. me first in line!"
=)3 men..and 2 stores
July 27th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Make me.
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July 27th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
two muffins sitting in a hot oven.
one looks to the other and says
"man, its hot in here"
the other says
"holy shit, a talking muffin"
the end
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July 28th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Billlybob&Sallysue went to the candy store.
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July 28th, 2009 at 12:51 am
why do girls fake orgasms?
they think we care.
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July 28th, 2009 at 1:05 am
Hello,
Why did the girl go to the "store’?
To get to the guys dick.
Suka<3
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Pulltonic.com
July 28th, 2009 at 1:53 am
A girl and a guy were in a store and they had sex in the produce department so they shoved cucumbers in each other’s assholes. The end.
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July 28th, 2009 at 2:08 am
Our Mexican Maid Asked For a Pay Increase.
My wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
I found out later the conversation went like this:
She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase??”
Maria: “Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase.
The first is that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”
Maria: “Your husband said so.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Maria: “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”
Maria: “Your husband did.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Maria: “My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.”
Wife: (really furious now): “Did my husband say that as well?”
Maria: “No Señora…the gardener did.”
Wife: “So how much do you want?”
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July 28th, 2009 at 2:48 am
mm well i made this up on the spot, adn its probably lame lol, here it goes.
a girl walks into a bar and says to a drunk guy, "hey, hows it hanging", the drunk guy replies, "pretty stiff at the moment".
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July 28th, 2009 at 3:10 am
A blonde enters a store and asks the man if she can buy the microwave standing in the corner. The man says, sorry we don’t sell our products to blondes. So the blonde leaves offended. She goes and dyes her hair to black. She comes back into the store and askes the man if she can buy the microwave and he says, sorry we don’t sell our items to blonde. The blonde was surprised and asked the man how he knew she was a blonde. The man answered, because thats not a microwave, its a tv.
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July 28th, 2009 at 3:47 am
well theres a girl shes happily married has kids andd a wonderful job. well anyways she has to go grocery shopping so she goes to walmart and while shes in the produce section a guy comes up and says can i have those melons.^_^ i know its kind of weird but only thing i could thiink of at the moment
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July 28th, 2009 at 4:16 am
3 chinneese men come to america and dont know any english..the first one walks into a restraunt and hears a little girls saying "forks and knives, forks and knives!"..so thats all he can say when he gets out
the second one walks into a candy shop and hears a little boy saying "goodie goodie gum drops me first in line me first in line" and when he walks out that is all he can say
the third one walks past a wedding and hears the bride saying "yes!yes!yes!" so then that is all he can say…
the three men meet up in the streat and a police officer comes by.
he asks them
"did you kill this man?"
3rd man:"yes yes yes"
police officer:"what did you kill him with?"
1st man:"forks and knives!"
police officer:"do you WANT to go to jail!?!"
2nd man:"goodie goodie gum drops me first in line. me first in line!"
=)3 men..and 2 stores
References :
July 28th, 2009 at 4:43 am
A duck walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says, "Got any popcorn?"
The bartender growls "No. Get outta here."
Next day, the duck walks into the same bar and asks the bartender, "Got any popcorn?"
The bartender shouts "No! Get outta here!"
Next day, the duck walks in again and says to the bartender, "Got any popcorn?"
The bartender screams "NO! And if you come in here again I’ll nail your beak to the bar!!!"
Next day the duck walks in and says, "Got any nails?"
"No!"
"Got any popcorn?"
P.S. Give the duck a nasally New York accent.
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A guy selling popcorn at a farmer’s market.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:17 am
ok so 2 guys walk in a store and the cashier is a smokin hot chick. so guy #1 says to guy #2, "man she is so hot", guy #2 says "yea i would love to bang her" and guy #1 says "yea but shes too hot for you" so guy #2 walks up to the cashier and he tells her that she is too hot for him and the cashier grabs a bucket of cold water and pures it over her white shirt and she says "am i cool enough now" and guy #2 says "no now you are too cold" so the cashier says "ok so to heat things up i’ll take my shirt and bra off" so she does and both guys say "just right". then after that the cashier goes out with guy #2 and he gets licky with her. The end.
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off the top of my head
July 28th, 2009 at 5:59 am
Ok so a guy walks into a bakery and wants some soup so he asks the lady at the counter "Could I have one chicken soup please?" so the lady shouts to the employees "One Chicken Soup!!"
The male changes his mind and says "Never mind, I would like a Pea soup."
So the female shouts "Hold the chicken…. Make it pea!"
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July 28th, 2009 at 6:45 am
a guy went to get a job at Home depot. they turned him down because he was a citizen.
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July 28th, 2009 at 7:29 am
A girl/guy walks into a store and asks for a jar of condoms. The store owner says "sorry, but they only come in boxes". the girl/guy says "Sorry, but I need a jar to put the condoms on".
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July 28th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Whats the difference between roast beef and pee soup?
anyone can "roast" beef…
but NOone can "pee" soup!
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