here is a Funny Joke:
a blonde was getting suspicious of her boyfriend cheating on her. One day she felt he was acting very suspicious. She decided to spy on him and just in he really was cheating on her, she would buy a gun to shoot him.
She walked into his apartment and noticed he was making-out with a red-head chick. She hollared, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!"
"It isn’t what you think it is," he replied. She then became over whelmed and pulled the gun out her bag and put against her head.
"Wait! Don’t do it," announced her boyfriend.
"Oh, shut up! You will be next"
_____________________________________________________
Write a funny poem and I will choose the funniest one
here is another one:
a rabii, an indian (not native american indian), and a lawyer were driving down the road. When night came they decided to stop in rural motel. All of the rooms were full, except one. When they got into the room they realized there was only one bed and one couch. They realized one of them could sleep in the hotel barn with the animals.
"I will sleep with the animals," said the indian.
So he left the room. Ten minutes later he knocks on the door. the lawyer opens the door.
"Sorry I can’t sleep in there. There is a cow in there and cows are the sacred animal in India," announced The Indian.
"Okay I will go," said the rabii.
He left. a few moments later they hear a knock on the door. It was the rabii.
"I cant sleep in there. a pig is in there and pigs are against my beliefs."
"Fine. I will go," said the lawyer.
A few minutes later they heard a knock on the door. This time it was the animals in the barn
a poem or a joke?
JOKES:
SIGNS FOR STUPID PEOPLE
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, “I’m Stupid”. That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you? You wouldn’t ask them anything. It would be like,
“Excuse me…oops, never mind. I didn’t see your sign.”
It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says “Hey, you moving?”
“Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign.”
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ‘ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, “Hey,
y’all catch all them fish?” “Nope -Talked ‘em into giving up. Here’s your sign.”
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. There’s only one way to test it. “Alright Jimmy, you
got that shark suit on, it looks good… They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you.” “ Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don’t wanna lose it.”
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of the side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said,
“Tire go flat?” I couldn’t resist. said, “Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here’s your sign.”
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of
the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, “Darn that’s hot!” See? If he’d been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn’t ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn’t get it out no matter how
I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning…ok…no problem…I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign…until he asked “So…is your truck stuck?” I couldn’t help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said “no I’m delivering’ a bridge…here’s your sign.”
REDNECK BIRTH CONTROL
After having their 11th child, an Alabama coupled decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both learned physicians couldn’t be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand…. Also works in Tennessee and Kentucky
October 3rd, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Go to http://www.funnypoets.com/funnypoems.html
References :
October 3rd, 2009 at 11:52 pm
okay… here goes
The fly buzzed ‘cross the room
The vacuum went a-vroom vroom vroom
The vacuum sucked the poor fly up.
And the fly died… yup yup yup!
References :
my dead brain
October 4th, 2009 at 12:41 am
Very Funny Joke.
References :
October 4th, 2009 at 1:03 am
if a pencil wont write my lips wheat out you well die
References :
October 4th, 2009 at 1:27 am
haha
References :
October 4th, 2009 at 1:54 am
There were three hunters in the woods. They got lost after a while and the first hunter said, "I one read in a survival book that if you fire three shots, someone might hear and come and get you." The second hunter said, "Okay, try it." So the first hunter fired three shots into the air. The three hunter waited for 3 hours, but nothing happened. The first hunter said, "Maybe we need to fire three more shots into the air. So the second hunter fired thee more shots into the air. They waited three hours again, but still, nothing happened. The second hunter said, "Maybe 1 more time?" The third hunter turned to the 1st looking impatient and said, "Well it better work this time because these are our last three arrows!"
References :
October 4th, 2009 at 2:23 am
hehe…….thats a funni joke!
References :
October 4th, 2009 at 2:57 am
a poem or a joke?
JOKES:
SIGNS FOR STUPID PEOPLE
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, “I’m Stupid”. That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you? You wouldn’t ask them anything. It would be like,
“Excuse me…oops, never mind. I didn’t see your sign.”
It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says “Hey, you moving?”
“Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign.”
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ‘ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, “Hey,
y’all catch all them fish?” “Nope -Talked ‘em into giving up. Here’s your sign.”
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. There’s only one way to test it. “Alright Jimmy, you
got that shark suit on, it looks good… They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you.” “ Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don’t wanna lose it.”
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of the side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said,
“Tire go flat?” I couldn’t resist. said, “Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here’s your sign.”
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of
the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, “Darn that’s hot!” See? If he’d been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn’t ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn’t get it out no matter how
I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning…ok…no problem…I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign…until he asked “So…is your truck stuck?” I couldn’t help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said “no I’m delivering’ a bridge…here’s your sign.”
REDNECK BIRTH CONTROL
After having their 11th child, an Alabama coupled decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both learned physicians couldn’t be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand…. Also works in Tennessee and Kentucky
References :
I did not make these up (obviously)
these have been sent to me by email and i have found them online
sources unknown
October 4th, 2009 at 3:24 am
funny
Happy Holidays!
Beverly S.
References :