I need a "dirty joke" ASAP.
Ive been told the "dirtier" the better.
PLEASE HELP!
Hope this helps
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device… a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent #$%&^*%," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I’ll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."
CHeeRioS
September 10th, 2009 at 7:17 am
Hope this helps
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device… a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent #$%&^*%," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I’ll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."
CHeeRioS
References :
September 10th, 2009 at 7:57 am
A regular customer walks into his favorite bar and orders a light beer.
The Bartender asks “What gives, you usually take tequilla straight, why the sudden change?”
The man replies, “well last night I got really drunk in here and when I got home I blew chunks”
The bartender says “So, what’s the big deal? Everybody throws up when they get really drunk.”
To which the man replies “No, you don’t understand, Chunks is my Dog.”
References :
September 10th, 2009 at 8:12 am
ok, ok….
A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don’t think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn’t put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"
i DIDN’T make it up I hate dirty jokes!
References :
September 10th, 2009 at 8:42 am
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma’m, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me."
She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 436
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A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fu**ing hurts doesn’t it!"
References :