I haven’t heard a good joke in a while. I mean a loooong while. Something, anything?
OK HERE ARE SOME FUNNY CONVERSATIONS;
1st man;why are all these people running?
2nd man;this is a race,the winner will get the cup,why are others running?
"its clear"said the teacher,"that you haven’t studied your geography.what’s is your excuse?"
"well ,my dad says the world is changing everyday.So i decided to wait until it settles down!"
teacher;"sam ,what is the outside of a tree called?"
sam;"i don;t know."
teacher;"bark,sam,bark"
sam;2bow,wow,bow!"
A;did u hear that a baby was fed on elephant’s milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B;that’s impossible.whose baby?
A:an elephant’s
BENNY;"i’ve just lost my dog"
DANNY:"Why don’t you put an advertisement in the paper?"
BENNY;"don’t be silly my dog can’t read"
HERE ARE SOME MORE OTHER JOKES[NOT CONVERSATIONS]
why did the computer sneeze?
becuse it had a virus
what is a computer’s favorite type of dancing?
disk-o
what do computers want when they are hungry?
chips
August 11th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
how do you know if an aboriginal man made you pregnant?
shove a banana up there for a few seconds and then pull it out, if there is a bite taken out then you know that another gorilla is on the way.
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August 11th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
An old couple was watching TV one evening, and the husband got up to go to the kitchen. His wife told him to get her some iced tea, and knowing that the years had taken their toll on his memory, she told him to write it down.
"I can remember iced tea," he protested.
"But I want sugar in my tea too," she told him, "so write it down."
He told her he could remember iced tea with sugar.
"I want a slice of lemon too." she said, "Just write it down."
He left the room grumbling to himself. A few minutes later he came back with a plate full of mashed potatoes for her.
"Now look what you’ve done!" she yelled at him, "You forgot my gravy!"
???????????/
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August 11th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn’t kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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August 11th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator’s mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It’s a woman. "I’ll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
John woke up after the annual office new year party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
‘Louise,’ he moaned, ‘tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?’
‘Even worse,’ she said, her voice oozing scorn. ‘You made a complete a** of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.’
‘He’s an idiot,’ John said. ‘Piss on him.’
‘You did’, came the reply. ‘And he fired you.’
‘Well, screw him!’ said John.
‘I did. You’re back to work on Monday.’
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look – I’m a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I’m a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother’s room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I’m a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6′2", weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6′5" pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what’s the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that’s easy, ‘W’."
:]
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August 11th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Brian recently received news that his father was very ill and was expected to die within one month. He also discovered that his father was a secret multi-billionaire! Even better, the dad had written in his will that Brian was to have all the money!!!
With that, Brian decided to go to a nightclub to celebrate, where he saw a gorgeous (i.e. GORGEOUS) woman, and decided to try his luck. "Hi there," he said to her, at which point she became exasperated and bored.
Undeterred, Brian continued. "I’m Brian, and my dad’s very ill. He’s expected to die next month, and I’m going to inherit ALL of his billions of pounds."
Suddenly the woman was very interested, so interested that she agreed to have Brian take her back to his place to meet the dad. This woman and Brian’s dad got on well together, so well that four days later she became Brian’s stepmother.
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August 11th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
OK HERE ARE SOME FUNNY CONVERSATIONS;
1st man;why are all these people running?
2nd man;this is a race,the winner will get the cup,why are others running?
"its clear"said the teacher,"that you haven’t studied your geography.what’s is your excuse?"
"well ,my dad says the world is changing everyday.So i decided to wait until it settles down!"
teacher;"sam ,what is the outside of a tree called?"
sam;"i don;t know."
teacher;"bark,sam,bark"
sam;2bow,wow,bow!"
A;did u hear that a baby was fed on elephant’s milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B;that’s impossible.whose baby?
A:an elephant’s
BENNY;"i’ve just lost my dog"
DANNY:"Why don’t you put an advertisement in the paper?"
BENNY;"don’t be silly my dog can’t read"
HERE ARE SOME MORE OTHER JOKES[NOT CONVERSATIONS]
why did the computer sneeze?
becuse it had a virus
what is a computer’s favorite type of dancing?
disk-o
what do computers want when they are hungry?
chips
References :
HOW WAS IT?
August 11th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
this guy just got a new neighbor (the neighbor is a guy too) and he goes over to his house and says "hi" and the neighbor comes right out of his shell and says "u wan’t to come over for a party" and the other guy says "sure what should i bring".so the neighbor says "nothing but just remember that it will have a lot of violence and sex at this party".so the guy says "ok what should i wear" thinking about all the girls he’ll see.and the neighbor says "anything it will just be u and me"
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August 11th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
The first answer had me laughing hard
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August 11th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Well hope these make you laugh
They are story jokes hopefully they will do 
Jack meets the priest of the town. While saying hello, Jack asks, "So, how’s it going?"
"Nothing special, my son. I’ve just got some dam fish"
"Wh-what?"
"Oh, no! I mean D-A-M, the dam at the exit of our town"
"Ohh!! You mean DAM fish!! Sorry for the misunderstanding!"
After some laughter, Jack decides to have some fish for his family. His wife’s there, waiting for him.
"Hi, darling! How are you?"
"I’m alright, I’ve just bought some dam fish," says Jack, reacting immediately to his wife’s astonished face. "Oh, darling, I mean D-A-M – DAM fish. Don’t get me wrong!"
"Oh! Sorry, dear."
It was finally time to eat. Hmm! The smell of the food was delicious, so little Johnny can’t help asking,
"So, what’s for dinner?"
"You won’t believe it! Your father’s brought some dam fish"
"I see, mom. Can you now pass me the f***ing potatoes, please?
A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner’s wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain…..do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds:
"He wasn’t kissing my neck – he was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, he thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him It was in the bathroom. Be strong. I love you, too."
Son takes his father to the doctor. Doctor gives them the bad news that the father is dying of cancer. Father tells the son that he has had a good long life and wants to stop at the bar on the way home to celebrate it.
While at the bar, the father sees several of his friends. He tells them that he is dying of AIDS. When the friends leave the son asks, ‘Dad, you are dying of cancer. Why did you tell them that you are dying of AIDS?’
The father replies, ‘I don’t want them screwing your mother after I’m gone!’
Who’s This Guy
after a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter
Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That’s me before the operation."
3 men walk into a cave, and hear a voice from the back.
"I’m coming to get you! And I’m going to eat you!"
The first man runs away.
They hear the voice again.
"I’m getting closer! And I’m going to eat you!"
The second man runs away.
The voice comes once more.
"I’ve nearly got you! And I’m going to eat you!"
The last man bravely walks on.
And at the very back of the cave, he finds a small boy picking his nose.
Teacher: Whoever answers this question can go home now 1 hour early
Student: Accidentally shoots a spit ball at his teacher
Teacher: who shot that spit ball
Student: I did by mistake. See you tomorrow.
man went into the public toilets to relieve himself. The first cubicle was in use, so he went into the next one. As he took down his trousers, he heard a voice from the other cubicle.
"Hey, hows it going?"
Not wanting to be rude, he replied, "Not too bad thanks."
A few seconds later, he heard the voice again.
"What are you up to?"
Somewhat relunctantly, he replied, "Having a quick sh*t, what about you?"
He heard the voice again.
"Hold on, I’m going to have to call you back. There’s some wise a.ss in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say!!
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August 11th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Um no.
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