I am feeling down and need a Funny Joke to make me snort.
Thanks!
So a guy just got hired at an apple shop.The first customer walks in. "How much are these apples?" The clerk says, "I don't know." When the man leaves, the manager comes and says, "You are supposed to say, 'Five cents sir'." So the next customer comes in. "How much are these apples?" The clerk responds, "Five cents sir." "Are they fresh?" "I don't know." So the man leaves. The manager once again comes out and says, "You are supposed to say, 'Fresh fresh fresh sir!'" So the third customer walks in. "How much are these apples?" "Five cents sir." "Are they fresh?" "Fresh fresh fresh sir!" "Should I buy them?" "I don't know." Once again, the man leaves. Flustered, the manager tells the clerk, "You are supposed to say, 'If you don't somebody else will!'" Afterwards, the fourth man walks in, but he's a robber. "GIMME THOSE APPLES!" "Five cents sir." "ARE YOU BEING FRESH WITH ME??" "Fresh fresh fresh sir!" "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" "If you don't someboddy else will!"
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:39 am
they killed alot of african people in vietnam because when the people told them to get down they just dance
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April 3rd, 2009 at 6:03 am
This one will defo make you laugh!!!
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that…….
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
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April 3rd, 2009 at 6:17 am
There were two pubes sat on a toilet seat.
Pube 1: Hey, so how long are you here for?
Pube 2: I dunno, until someone pisses me off.
LMAOLMAO
makes me laugh every time
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April 3rd, 2009 at 6:44 am
i heard this one yesterday
(No offense meant to any of the mentioned demographics!!)
A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful yankee queer.
The bartender looks up and says, "You ain't from around here, are ya??? Where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"
The guy says nervously, "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"
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April 3rd, 2009 at 6:49 am
O O O PICK ME PICK ME…..I'LL TELL YOU….a really funny joke
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you get it… tell you a really funny joke…
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:00 am
So a guy just got hired at an apple shop.The first customer walks in. "How much are these apples?" The clerk says, "I don't know." When the man leaves, the manager comes and says, "You are supposed to say, 'Five cents sir'." So the next customer comes in. "How much are these apples?" The clerk responds, "Five cents sir." "Are they fresh?" "I don't know." So the man leaves. The manager once again comes out and says, "You are supposed to say, 'Fresh fresh fresh sir!'" So the third customer walks in. "How much are these apples?" "Five cents sir." "Are they fresh?" "Fresh fresh fresh sir!" "Should I buy them?" "I don't know." Once again, the man leaves. Flustered, the manager tells the clerk, "You are supposed to say, 'If you don't somebody else will!'" Afterwards, the fourth man walks in, but he's a robber. "GIMME THOSE APPLES!" "Five cents sir." "ARE YOU BEING FRESH WITH ME??" "Fresh fresh fresh sir!" "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" "If you don't someboddy else will!"
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I heard this joke from a friend. =D
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:43 am
YOUR MOTHER,S SO OLD SHE WAS TAKING TICKETS AT THE THEATER,THE NIGHT LINCOLN GOT SHOT.
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April 3rd, 2009 at 8:23 am
why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
cause he was dead.
why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
cause he was tied to the first one.
why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
he thought it was a game.
whats black and white black and white black and white black and white…
a penguin rolling down the hill.
whats black and white laughing?
the penguin that pushed him.
here are more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzHBszZn6uo
References :
me
& youtube.
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:56 am
You're momma's so hairy the only language she can speak…..is wookie!
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both plastic and boys turn both of them on.
A duck is standing on the side of the road waiting for his chance to cross.
A chicken runs up to him and yells out DON'T DO IT! You'll never hear the end of it!
I'm on a really simple diet at the moment, broccoli and coliflower, i can have as much of it as i want! It's great! I haven't had any so far…..
Poor old Michael Jackson, thanks to the media these day's he lives the life of a Scooby Doo villian. Hanging around abandoned (or not) funfairs wearing a plastic face saying to himself, ragh kids.
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