None of those short one liners. No knock knock jokes.
A man went to get a job. So his boss hire him, and told him to set up a sign. So the man did set the sign outside. Then his boss want to go out and saw the sign and it say "Come to work, and the boss pay you 1 cent per a minute" then boss told the man to remove the sign. So the man accept and remove the sign but he replace the sign. The sign say "My boss told me to change the sign, so I did"
Can someone please tell me a funny joke that will make me laugh?
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June 15th, 2009 at 4:07 am
6 degrees of blonde
`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,listened a moment And said 'How should I know,that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know, Some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.' `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on The sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the Mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde Says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!' `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,. -:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, So she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment Unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him In the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun,and as she does so, She is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!' The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!' `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FOURTH DEGREE A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.' A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?' The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.' `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
FIFTH DEGREE What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? 'Is it mine?' `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*
SIXTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house Ransacked and burglarised. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,and a K-9 unit, Patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, The blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the Cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,'I come home to find All my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.'
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June 15th, 2009 at 4:31 am
ok, so there was a girlfriend and boyfriend. the guy wanted to get the girl a meaningful birthday present to show her that he loves her, so he goes to the tatoo parlor and asks for her name 'bertha b.' on his bottom. the tatooist says thats too long, and why dont you shorten it? so he decided to get BB, a b on both cheeks. he goes home, pulls down his pants. she takes one look and says "whos bob?"
lol
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June 15th, 2009 at 4:52 am
There once was this bar with a sign in its window. It read, anyone who can make my horse laugh will have all the drinks they want on the house. So this guy walks in and asks if he can give it a try. The bartender says sure.
The cowboy walks out there and whispers something in the horse's ear. The horse starts laughing hysterically. The guys walks in and the bartender gives him the drinks. The next night the same guy and the same thing happens.
The third night the sign is changed to making the horse cry. The guy goes out side and a few minutes later he comes back in and the horse is crying.
The bartender says 'o.k. you can have your drinks but first tell me what you did to make my horse laugh.'
The cowboy said, 'I told him my privates are bigger than his.'
'O.K. but how did you make him cry?'
The cowboy replied, 'I proved it to him.'
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June 15th, 2009 at 5:33 am
it's not a joke but it is funny. i had to take a questionaire for my new high school and there was a funny question. it said: IF YOU ARE A MALE, DO YOU HAVE BOTH TESTICLES. i thought it was hysterical!
true story, i swear
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June 15th, 2009 at 6:20 am
There's a 2 girls.A blonde and a red head.They were at a pond.
Which one died first?
The red head because, when the blonde was asking questions, the red head just jumped in!!
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June 15th, 2009 at 7:00 am
So there was this cowboy and he walked into a saloon one day, very hungry. He saw an older cowboy just sitting at the bar, staring at a bowl of chili. So he walks up to the older cowboy and asks, "Oh, are you eating that chili?" The older cowboy says no, you can have it. So the cowboy starts wolfing it down. But when he gets to the bottom of the bowl, he sees a dead rat lying at the bottom. Thinking about what he had just eaten, he vomited the chili back into the bowl. The older cowboy, who had been watching him the whole time, chuckled and said to him, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
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June 15th, 2009 at 7:46 am
there's a couple who go to a restaurant
the husband asks for his mistress and she comes.
"whos this?" the wife asks the husband
"oh it's my mistress " reply's the husband
"get rid of her" the wife says
the husband gets rid of his mistress. 5 minutes later, the husbands, friend enters the restaurant.
he also has a mistress
"our mistress is better" mumbles the wife
References :
http://www.funny.com
its funny!!!
June 15th, 2009 at 8:33 am
A man went to get a job. So his boss hire him, and told him to set up a sign. So the man did set the sign outside. Then his boss want to go out and saw the sign and it say "Come to work, and the boss pay you 1 cent per a minute" then boss told the man to remove the sign. So the man accept and remove the sign but he replace the sign. The sign say "My boss told me to change the sign, so I did"
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June 15th, 2009 at 9:18 am
A lady walks into the doctors office complaining everything hurts. When the doctor asks her to explain it more…
She took out her index finger and poked her arm "That hurts," she said. Then with the same finger she poked her leg "that hurts as well," she said before poking her foot and announcing "even that hurts!"
Then the doctor sighed and asked "by any chance, are you naturally blonde?"
"Why, yes." she replied.
"Thought so," replied the doctor "your finger is broken."
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lol