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Can anyone tell me a really funny joke?

I have been dying to laugh lately so can any of you tell me a really Funny Joke? I mean the best you have ever heard!!!!! Thx

A woman comes home from work and seas her husband waving his arm Frantically ?
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

9 Responses

  1. SERENA P Says:

    What do you get when you mix a person from Mexico and a person from Holland?
    Little Hollapenos

    What do you get when you mix a person from Italy and a person from Jamaica?
    Pastafarians

    How do you confuss a blonde?
    Ask her to arrange M & M’s in alphabetical order

    A man comes home from work, he sees his beautiful blonde wife breathing heavily, painting, and wearing a lot of clothing. He asks his wife, "Why are you wearing so many clothes while you are painting?"
    The blonde says, "The paint can says to put on 2 coats when painting."
    References :

  2. Daiguren Hyorinmaru Says:

    Why did the blonde have a bruised belly button? because her boyfriend was blonde too!

    A blonde went into an asian dry cleaners store and gave the clerk her clothes and she then says "Come again!" and the blonde replies "No, toothpaste this time!"
    References :

  3. Haza.haxa Says:

    Three old women are sitting on a bench in a park when a man jumps out of the bushes nearby and flashes at them. Two of the old women instantly have a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach.
    References :
    I nearly died the first time I heard that.

  4. Destiny Says:

    Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
    References :

  5. Sgt. Cranium & Captain Dumbness Says:

    A priest, a rabbai, and a minister want to see who’s best at his job. They go into the woods to find a bear and convert it, and meet back later. The priest said, "I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion." The Minister said, "I preached God’s holy word, and he was so mesmerized, he let me baptize him." They both look down at the rabbai who’s lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Maybe," he said, "I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision."
    References :
    I got this joke from reader’s digest.

  6. richard Says:

    what do 9 out of ten people think of? gang r a p e that tenth person is f u c k e d
    References :

  7. donna t Says:

    Alright, here’s one that I found awhile ago.

    I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no freaking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the heck can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shoot! I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, dumbbutt.

    I hope this made you smile! Later.
    References :
    From my friend.

  8. Eoghan Says:

    Blonde 1: i cant wait for this holiday but i wish we brought the tv with us
    Blonde 2:why would you want the tv with us on holidays
    Blonde 1: Because our passports a and tickets are on top
    References :

  9. A Knight In Shining Armour Says:

    A woman comes home from work and seas her husband waving his arm Frantically ?
    "What are you doing?" She asked.
    "Hunting Flies" He responded.
    "Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
    "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
    Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
    He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
    References :

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